Reflections on Life and Social Expectations

In my childhood/adolescence, I used to have a solid routine:

I would wake up, in a bad mood.

I would go to the bathroom, take a shower.

While getting dressed for school, my mom would prepare breakfast for me.

I would have breakfast.

I would head to school using public transportation.

Thieves? Be careful, they are dangerous!*

Am I running late? Rarely.

Did I do my homework? Yes.

Why did I do it? I don't know.

Friends? Only a few.

Is the teacher coming? Here we go again**!*

2 hours sitting, listening to someone speak. Have I learned anything? Rarely.

Socialize? It's not my thing.

Being alone? Beautiful.

I would leave school and go straight to the gym.

0/2 hours of strength training, focusing on lower body / physical conditioning.

2 hours of skating on the rink.

Go home.

Finish my tasks.

Sleep.

Repeat.

... ...

After I graduated, this happened:

I would wake up, my mood improved.

I would take a shower.

Have breakfast.

Go to class at the university.

Exam? I never did well.

Pay attention in class? I can only do it for 25 minutes, the rest of the time I dozed off, pretending to understand everything.

Free time? Eat, soak up the sun for a few minutes, go back to the computer lab to program / play video games / talk about geek stuff.

Classes on topics that didn't interest me? Sleep.

Programming class? Fun.

Elective art class? Beautiful.

Elective music class? Beautiful.

On my way home to finish pending assignments and prepare lessons.

Prepare a lesson? Why bother if the topic makes me sleepy*?*

Stay up late solving programming problems, final project, preparing lessons, preparing exams.

Sleep for 4 hours.

Repeat.

... ...

And just when I thought it was over:

Wake up.

Work 8 hours sitting in a chair.

Try to socialize.

Get home.

Rest.

Repeat.

... ...

Pandemic:

Wake up.

Work 8 hours sitting in a chair.

Talk to my family, same topics always.

Eat.

Play video games.

Sleep.

Repeat.

... ...

Millions of years ago, did the first humans have a routine? Is that even human*?*

Should you strive for success? Well, what is success?

Be yourself, well, who am I*?*

Study, because those who study do well in life, what is doing well?

Work, to achieve your dreams, I think I'll end up exhausted by the end of the road, and when I'm fulfilling my dreams, I won't even be able to see them due to the deterioration of my sight and joints, causing so much pain that I'll prefer to stay home and rest for the rest of my life.

Start a family, get married. Why? to be happy, what is happiness?

Buy a house, secure your old age, if I can't even secure my present because I'm thinking about securing my future?

The purpose of humans is to live in a community, Isn't it the community that has also harmed me?

A life without stepping out of your comfort zone is a waste. Are you aware that everyone has experienced different things in life?

Don't be like those people who don't do anything in life. Have you done anything yourself?

Your context defines who you are. True, but isn't what they lack what people from another context possess?

Follow someone, who influences you day by day to continue and be like them. Why should I try to be something I'm not?

Behave according to the context. Isn't that the same as acting?

Help people. And what will you do when you realize they don't want to be helped?

Greet people on the street, be courteous. What if I'm in a hurry to get to an important appointment and can't do two things at once?

Don't be arrogant. So, I shouldn't believe in myself?

Do good. In any case, won't I hurt many people along the way?

Have a partner. What if I prefer to be at peace?

Why are you so quiet, is something wrong with you? What if I don't want to talk?

Don't be like superficial people. Who am I to judge what should and shouldn't be done?

Don't indulge in a vice, like alcohol. Isn't it true that people are being killed by a vice every day?

Wake up every day at 4 am to boost your productivity. Why do you believe in the judgment of people who had a completely different life from yours?

Do what you love. What if I love what I do already?

Learn from wise people, they know what they're doing. What if no one knows what they're doing? What is wisdom?

Know your limits. I prefer not to define them

... ...

I prefer to follow myself.