About Limits and Stereotypes

I believe that limits are something we have programmed ourselves due to our context, and we don't even realize it. Other times, these limits have been defined by previous generations, based on dogmas that were considered "true" at some point and are now being questioned due to how the world has changed.

The stereotypes created by society are the ones that have programmed our minds to limit ourselves. In university, systems engineers were considered "geeky and weird lab rats". Because of this stupid reason, very few people from other majors integrated with us; we were the odd ones out in the entire university. However, that changed over time, thanks to a society that was not comfortable with these encapsulations, but I still feel there is room for improvement here.

When I reached the sixth semester of my degree, I had never been to a university party before. I socialized very little because I was always playing video games or finishing my programming assignments. At that time, I wanted to socialize, I wanted to step out into the world, to be influenced by different vibes and perspectives on life.

One day, after finishing an hour-long essay, I unlocked my phone and started playing Clash of Clans. After 10 minutes, I stopped and realized that wasn't what I wanted in my life. I wanted action, I wanted to go out into the world, see what people had to offer, explore new ways, get to know myself better.

Initially, this materialized by learning how to dance. I used to learn by watching YouTube videos. At that time, I was captivated by the fast movements of Cali-style salsa, and I learned it from home.

The next step in my personal exploration was joining the university dance group, where I gradually developed certain social skills that I felt I had been lacking for a long time in my career. At the same time, I expressed myself and learned techniques from a variety of styles.

At what point was it defined that a systems engineer doesn't dance, doesn't enjoy socializing, and spends the whole day programming in a closed, dark room? There are probably still people who fit into this stereotype, but the point is that creating stereotypes is not good.

Taking it a step further, a few months ago, I started categorizing people from the same culture into specific categories, creating biases and criticizing other cultures. Spaniards, open and social, but messy. The French: rude, serious, unfriendly, proud of their language. Italians: open, kind, social. Germans: direct, serious. Belgians: open, friendly, good vibes. Dutch: similar to Belgians. Swedes: shy, weird, closed, respectful. Norwegians: reserved, value their privacy, don't usually speak, not fond of parties, respectful, respect nature.

These categories are stereotypes that I had to eliminate from my mind at some point during my journey, especially when I met people in all these countries who completely broke these molds. There were French people kinder than me, Swedes more open than me, and even in Norway, there are people who love parties.

Another type of stereotype that limits our thinking is age, especially in Colombia. What is a 40-year-old doing in a nightclub? People probably think they have problems in their life, have failed, and never matured. That's what many people will tell you. But what if that person enjoys dancing? What if they enjoy a healthy nightlife? In the end, we all have our own way of letting off steam, don't we? Why is your way better than theirs?

In the Techno clubs of Berlin, there are even people in their 60s or 70s dancing without any intention of venting out their frustrations with life or seeking a partner. They simply go because, like all of us, they love music and they love to dance.

Berlin is a very interesting place in terms of experimentation. I developed much of my own style based on what it offered me: the freedom to be myself, to fully accept myself, my body, my movements, my reality. Self-acceptance was an important step in my personal exploration. I will talk more about this in future posts.

Who defined those limits? The system may have contributed to it, but it is truly you who defines them and starts believing in them.

Should I feel bad because I like both art and engineering? It shouldn't be that way. Each person should choose the path they want to pursue, regardless of what society thinks. Let go of the pressures of success defined by your favorite entrepreneur, who has had a very different life from yours, and do what you like and what you believe is right and meaningful in your own mind.

It is only then that interesting things start to happen, such as the exploration of the human being. In art, there are now opportunities in any field. Speaking only of dance, I feel that technique is important for your body to internalize aesthetically pleasing movements, so when your mind unconsciously programs, you can perform them. The way we dance improves unconsciously, and we can focus on other aspects, such as giving clear meaning to the movements we make with our bodies, gaze, and arms, an intention.

Even so, with all the technique in the world, I prefer to express myself and create my own movements, even if they don't look good. Who defined what is aesthetic and what is not? I prefer to create my own style.

In Oslo, on a Sunday, I didn't know what to do. Spring had arrived, and the days were longer than usual. One of the Norwegian dancers I had met the day before told me about a free practice session at an academy she attended.

I went to the practice session and practiced what I knew from various dance styles. I will write more about this experience in detail later. For now, what caught my attention was a dancer who didn't move according to any style. He was a guy wearing a Naruto headband, and I remembered how embarrassed I once felt because I used to like anime, and social pressure made me stop.

Another time, I met a Dutch person whom I will also talk about in another post. He was someone who had lived his whole life alone and often hosted people for free in his house, but he didn't have a spouse or children. At one point in the conversation, I tried to get him to explain why he didn't have a partner or companionship. Isn't that what's considered right? He looked me in the eyes and replied, "Because that's who I am."

Why do we limit ourselves? When we break those ideas within ourselves and step out of the comfort zone that we so adore, we realize how incredible we are and how we have self-sabotaged ourselves all this time, dreaming small.